While we're still 3

Safe to say pregnancy number one is always going to be different to number two. Number one is filled with awe and amazement and babymoons and little trips away, just because. Where pregnancy number two you know what's going to happen (for the most part). It's still amazing and exciting (whoah the human body can do whaaaat?) but the awe has worn off a bit and has been replaced with chasing a tantruming toddler around the supermarket (fun!). 

Instead of napping on the couch and indulging in as many movie sessions as you can, you're probably getting up at 6am with kid number one and then spending the day trying to reason with a child who won't stop crying because he wants to eat crayons for afternoon tea.

So we haven't done a babymoon or any trips away with this second pregnancy. And the nights out for dinner have been few and far between. But hell we just got back from 18 months in Europe so exploring the old hood (Melbourne baby!), and seeing all of the faces we'd missed so much, has been more than awesome enough.

After all, we gotta make the most of all these 'last moments' of being a family of 3. Before we know it there's gonna be four of us and we'll be back to square one, learning how to 'do it' all over again.

It's gonna be a boy!

What's the perfect combination? One boy, one girl? Two girls? Two boys? 3 kids? 4 kids? More?

I really have no damn idea. But what I do know is that we are making ANOTHER LITTLE BOY! So not too long away there will be two little boys in our house getting up to all sorts of mischief. Two little boys running laps around the kitchen bench endlessly, all afternoon. Two little boys kicking balls, throwing toys and screaming like dinosaurs at the top of their lungs. There will probably be years of blue rooms, scratched knees, video games, grass stained clothes, ball games and super heroes to come. 

Yep, it's gonna be fun. And if the second kid is anything like our first, it will be all sorts of noisy, chaotic and energetic fun. <3

New year's nap time

I swear parenting is just 80% reverse psychology. Seriously, when you want them to do something there’s no way in hell they’re gonna do it and the second you want them to stop it’s the only thing in the world they want to do.

And it’s no different with sleep, well not when it comes to Austin anyway. When you want him to succumb to sleepy land (hmmm I don’t know, maybe at bedtime and naptime could be a good idea?) he is not having a bar of it but then when we think he’ll wake up (or want him to wake up) he just goes on snoozing without a care.  Aaah, so frustrating!

So, on Sunday we had a fabulous little outing to a Chinese New Year celebration, we chose the location specifically for Austin (hello big festival party). The plan was to get him to sleep on the way to lunch and then probably half way through he’d wake up and get to see all the exciting festivities.  So of course he then slept through the entire thing. Ha, poor kid. Not gonna lie, having lunch and being able to walk around while he snoozed was a bit of a luxury. We could almost forget we even had a kid with us. Well, except for the pram.

And I guess really, he’s none the wiser. Except for waking up with an awesome new rooster balloon. There’s always next year, kid. 

Party People

We went to a rave and it was exactly how I remember them being... kidding! It was a family rave, so there were a few (huge) differences:

1. A kid came to the rave with us. Wait that's our kid! Yep, and despite me thinking it was a fabulous idea to bring him in while he was sleeping the kid had a fab time! You know, after he got over the shock of waking up in a darkened room full of people dancing to music. 

2. There was THE most amazing pirate cake stand. Why didn't every nightclub have one of these back in the day? Marshmallow-pops, salted caramel brownies, red velvet cupcakes... Ok, I am stopping this cake list before I get some serious cravings.

3. The side room was dedicated to all things baby. Yep, for the 0-3 set this was the place to be. Ball pits, tunnel mazes and a spectacular play dough zone. 

4. And the beats. The beats were GOOD. If only Austin would've let us dance to the music. Every time we tried we got the 'nooooo'. How is it we are already the embarrassing parents and he's only 2? I thought we had at least two more years up our sleeve. 

Oh, and how did I forget the most important part - the bar was open for all the mums and dads. Wooo! Big Fish Little Fish sure delivered the goods on our first family rave. 

All of the totally normal things that drive me mad after having a kid

1. Squeaky doors. And squeaky floorboards. I think we can include squeaky pram wheels here too. Can we just stop all squeaking people? There is nothing worse than getting your kid to sleep, or half asleep and trying to do the stealth sneak out only to be thwarted by the damn squeaky floorboards.
    
2. People who beep their horn when my kid is sleeping in the pram. A**holes.
    
3. People who give you advice on how to get your fussy eater to eat, bad sleeper to sleep, tantrum maker to stop tantrum-ing. Literally none of the ‘helpful’ advice you’ve just given is helpful. None.
    
4. People who talk loudly on the street when I’m trying to get Austin to fall asleep. Seriously. How. Dare. You.
    
5. People who walk as a pack on the footpath and make no room to let you past. Like seriously, do you want me to move on to the road with the kid and the pram? Move the F over. It’s a two-way footpath people.
    
6. Restaurants and cafes that don’t take my order the second I sit down. Ok, I am on a timeframe people, and that kid sitting next to me is my alarm clock. I need a coffee stat. Let’s not mess around!
    
7. People without kids who talk about how much sleep they’ve had. Or how much sleep they haven’t had. Or pretty much anything to do with sleep. Zip it.

Whoa, I sound like an old cranky woman don’t I? I probably just walk around the streets scowling like a mad person so people talk loudly, beep their horns and don’t take my orders so that they can avoid me. Hmmm. I might just think on that awhile.

The toddler's in charge

Walking the streets of Dalston. Meg wears: Au Lait tank, Minty Wendy necklace, Oliver Bonas hat (similar here). 
Austin wears: Tootsa tshirt, H&M Jeans, H&M shoes (similar here). 

It seems I don't need to run the house anymore. There's a new guy in town. He's tough. He's demanding. And not in the least bit reasonable. Yep, welcome to life with our two year old.

Don't nobody think he's getting in the pram. Coz he aint. And don't anybody even think about helping push the pram. Coz there is only one pram pusher in this house. The two year old. Yep, we make a trip around the corner look laughable, like some sort of snail paced marathon with a two-foot-tall angry turtle in charge. 

What was that? You wanted to leave the house to get to the kiddy class on time? Hahaha. The two year old laughs in the face of leaving the house on time. Coz he is craaazy like that. Just coz your'e the mum doesn't mean you make the rules. Oh no, because he will cry, and stamp and throw god damn biscuit bitties all over the house... until he is ready. So don't you even dare rush him. Coz the two year old will decide these things from now on. 

So you'd become quite comfortable with your two hour lunch-break (kiddy-nap-time) had you? What you use this time as some sort of secret mental nirvana to keep your sanity? Well the two year old says NO. And when he says NO you don't second guess that shit. So quit your whinging and get on with it. 

Oh man. There is gonna be some sort of epic game of thrones, survival of the fittest, battle to the ... ok not to the death, but battle extraordinaire this week. Mama bear is taking back the reigns. Hopefully. Or at least a little bit. Please? God damn. It's lucky he's the cutest little monster around. 

How to negotiate with a toddler in 7 easy steps

Austin wears Ducky Street tattoos, Mini Rodini t-shirt and H&M track pants (similar here)

1.     Try to reason with them. ‘We need the pram today because it’s a very long walk to get there, and we’re already running late so…please get in the pram. I really need you to get in the pram now. Get in the pram please. I said GET IN THE PRAMMMM'.  

2.     Bribery. Chocolate is a sure fire win. So is ice-cream. And sweets. And other yummy snacks. Though the sugar hit probably isn't going to win you any favours when it wears off in 20 minutes. Let’s just tackle one problem at a time shall we?

3.     Beg. This doesn’t really work but it somehow manages to find itself part of the negotiation cycle pretty damn often.

4.     Be passive aggressive. Yeah that is really going to work.    

5.     Get angry. Then instantly regret it.      

6.     Pretend to cry. This at least will get their attention even if it gets no other results.

7.     Give up.

Oh hold on wait, did I say seven easy steps? I meant seven steps I use, that drive me crazy! Ugh. Kids really have a knack for making grown-ups look completely mad don’t they? I usually find somewhere between six and seven Austin miraculously goes and does what I wanted, happy as larry, while I'm standing there a broken person.  #parentlife eh?

Welcome to the terrible(-y awesome) twos

Austin wears: Jumper Mini Rodini, Hat and Jeans H&M (here and here), Shoes Jordan's (similar here)
Meg wears: Necklace Minty Wendy Boutique, Shoes FCUK (similar here), Dress Mango

When your baby boy turns two… he is no longer a baby anymore - believe me!

He is at least half your height, espesh when you're a shorty like me. He knows exactly what he wants when he wants it; he knows what he likes (oh yeaaaah!) and oh boy you will learn quickly what he dislikes. He won’t let you help him, hardly (I am Mr Independent!) except for the rare moments when he is tired or upset and wants to be curled up in a ball on your lap (sigh). He is exploring and learning and testing all day long. Every day he is doing something new or saying something new (we just got the uh-oh over and over the last few days).

He is sooo grown up in so many ways. But forever our little baby boy in our hearts. <3 Happy Birthday little man. And welcome to the terrible(-y awesome) twos! 

I like piña colada's, dirty nappies and days by the beach

Ah, the things we do on holiday with our toddler. To anyone without kids they would seem oh, so very wacky. But this is just normal life people, nothing to look at here, keep it on moving! 

Just a few of our fave holiday past times are: 

• long walks along the beach holding hands... oh, oops I mean, long walks through back alleys pushing the pram to get your toddler to have his daytime nap
• afternoons spent lazing by the... couch indoors and out of the sun. Yep, this means coming home pretty damn pale
• acting like a one hour time difference is a gift sent from god. That's right, a one hour time difference means instead of your kid waking at 6am every morning you get to sleep in until 7am! (I am not even being sarcastic right now, this is actual pure joy)
• flying with 300 of your closest friends! Yay! Thomas and Lightning McQueen and Pepper and Mr Bulldozer and just about every single toy and book that will fit into every crevice of our beings
• perfecting your best 'I'm really trying my best but sometimes there is only so much you can do and my toddler will still keep crying no matter what I do' face when walking through quaint little towns
• treating midday nap time like a vacation from your vacation. Oh my god what are we gonna do for the next two hours? Go shopping? Go for lunch? Cocktails at a bar? Cocktails on the beach? Cocktails on the beach while having a massage? Eh, let's just fall in a heap and sleep. Yeah, that sounds good.
• Running around the pool like absolute mad people playing dinosaurs. Thank god we rented a house and weren't staying at a resort. Or actually I don't know, that could've been kind of funny too. Raaaaa.

I’m not gonna BS holidays are so different with our little man in tow, but they’re still fun as hell. 

4 tips for dining out with your toddler

We went out for a family dinner on Sunday night. Not gonna lie we were nervous as hell. Having a toddler at the table is like having your wildcard bestie from high school out on a bender. You never know what you’re gonna get.

The night did not go to plan. But hey, it was still a fab night out so, here are my top four tips on eating out with a toddler. But mind you, I think the best tip of all is to just roll with whatever life throws at you (food included).

1.     If you can call to make a booking always ask if they have high chairs and/or room for a pram. This gives a clear indication on whether you’ll be welcome with your toddler. (That’s right I said call, don’t be lazy like me and just check the website because there’s a high chance it hasn’t been updated. So then you’ll sit down and go ahead and order a drink and wait for the kitchen to open for dinner. But it will never open because they are CLOSING. That’s right they aren’t doing ANY DINNER SERVICE).

2.     Get there early 12 noon on the dot for lunch or 5pm dinner (yep total granny timeslots) this is gonna help you avoid the crowds with the messy, loud and potentially food throwing toddler. (Or if you’re us and didn’t do point 1 properly, now you will be behind schedule and have another restaurant to find PRONTO that will most likely be totes busy because you are way behind schedule.)

3.     Bring toys! Yep cars, and trains and paper and crayons, and stickers and whatever else you can grab in the dash to get out the door. And if you’re really struggling there’s always old trusty youtube. Not saying it’s going to win any parenting awards but it does buy a solid 20 minutes to eat your meal. (And hopefully you’re not like us sitting in restaurant number two for the evening and all of the toys have been played with and tossed aside and you are getting desperate. Time to get creative! Why not push coins through the slots of the table over and over again? Sounds pretty drab but GUESS WHAT it was a roaring success. Austin thought it was hilarious).

4.     Bring nappy wipes. Duh. (Yes, I forgot the wipes. Yes, he did a big stinker). 

Now with these tips in hand you can go out in to the world and nail your family dinner, woo! Or not nail it. And you know, just roll with the punches.