Party People

We went to a rave and it was exactly how I remember them being... kidding! It was a family rave, so there were a few (huge) differences:

1. A kid came to the rave with us. Wait that's our kid! Yep, and despite me thinking it was a fabulous idea to bring him in while he was sleeping the kid had a fab time! You know, after he got over the shock of waking up in a darkened room full of people dancing to music. 

2. There was THE most amazing pirate cake stand. Why didn't every nightclub have one of these back in the day? Marshmallow-pops, salted caramel brownies, red velvet cupcakes... Ok, I am stopping this cake list before I get some serious cravings.

3. The side room was dedicated to all things baby. Yep, for the 0-3 set this was the place to be. Ball pits, tunnel mazes and a spectacular play dough zone. 

4. And the beats. The beats were GOOD. If only Austin would've let us dance to the music. Every time we tried we got the 'nooooo'. How is it we are already the embarrassing parents and he's only 2? I thought we had at least two more years up our sleeve. 

Oh, and how did I forget the most important part - the bar was open for all the mums and dads. Wooo! Big Fish Little Fish sure delivered the goods on our first family rave. 

11 things to do with kids in the London summer

1.     Splash in a fountain.

If you’re not near a beach or a pool then the next best thing is to let the kids cool off in a fountain. If you’re not from England this probably sounds like a bit of a strange concept… but the kids love it! The English aren’t shy either, if it’s 18 degrees or higher the kids are getting their kit off and running totally wild. Some of our fave fountains to cool off in are: Granary Square (with fabulous coffee next door at Caravan), Princess Diana Fountain and Jeppe Hein’s Appearing Rooms at Southbank.

Image source: kingscross.co.uk

2.     Laze in the park.

When the sun is shining Londoners sure know how to make the most of it. They go outdoors and stay there, setting up deck chairs, picnic rugs, hell they may as well bring the kitchen sink with them. Heaps of parks have a Lido or paddling pool and the kids will be sure to make the most of the ice-cream van waiting at the gates. Some of our faves are Hyde Park (there are so many areas in Hyde Park you could spend several days exploring, try The Princess Diana Memorial Playground or sitting out front of the lake 'The Serpentine'), Alexandra Palace and Clissold Park.

Alexandra Palace

3.     Hide from rain at a museum.

Ok, London gets a bad rap for being ‘rainy’ but we’ve had hardly any rain over summer. The only thing is when it does rain it pours for several days in a row. Perfect opportunity to get out and see some of the fabulous London museums. Some of our faves are: Geffreye Museum, The V&A Museum and the Science Museum. If you check their websites prior to visiting most will run additional programs and events over the summer holidays, so extra fun for the kids.

Geffreye Museum

4. Visit a West End show.

Over summer the Society of London Theatre run ‘Kids Week’ where kids go free to some of London’s top shows. The Lion King, Wizard of Oz, The Gruffalow… the choices are endless.

Kids Week West End

5. Get back to nature at one of London’s natural reserves.

Sometimes the best thing for kids is plonking them outside and letting them explore. There are some great spots throughout London. Our faves are Woodberry Wetlands (nothing to do with the great coffee also on site) and Camley Street Natural Park, right near Kings Cross Station. There are a heap more places to visit listed on the Wild London website. 

Woodberry Wetlands

6. Go to the Zoo.

The zoo is always a hit with kids right? The London Zoo is huge with themed exhibits, playground areas and of course heaps of animals.

London Zoo

7. Do something touristy.

Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, They Eye… there are so many choices. Or you could jump on the big red tourist bus and see them all.

The Eye

8. Visit the beach.

Well you could visit an actual beach (Southend-on-sea or Mersea Island aren’t too far away) but depending on where you are it could be a 1-2 hour journey or even longer which makes it a very long day trip. Sooooo, next best thing visit Beach East! It’s a man made ‘beach’ in Stratford. Basically a HUGE sandpit with paddle pool surrounded by boardwalk games and rides. Gives the littles a beach experience without leaving the city. 

Beach East

9. Pig out at the food market.

Now this one may be tricky depending on the age of your kids. If they’re young enough to be strapped in or pushed around, or you trust they’re not gonna make a run for it then perfect! London’s food markets get super busy but for good reason, they’re so damn yummy. The array of fresh produce, yummy meals and shouting vendors is sure to get your kids attention. Our faves are the Broadway Market and Borough Markets.

Broadway Market

10. Visit a city farm.

There’s a heap of farms across the city all different shapes and sizes, but each one gives the kids a little taste of farm life. Our faves are Spitalfields and Hackney City Farm. 

11. Go to a rave.

Ok, this might seem like an odd one, but it is all the rage (pun intended). Family raves pop up all over London and throughout England in the summer, playing old school tunes for mum and dad while the kids have a blast in the play area with tents and tunnels, crafts tables and ball pools. Not bad while the adults sip on some prosecco. We’ll be trying out a rave by BFLF in October, if you haven’t been to one before come and check it out with us!

All of the totally normal things that drive me mad after having a kid

1. Squeaky doors. And squeaky floorboards. I think we can include squeaky pram wheels here too. Can we just stop all squeaking people? There is nothing worse than getting your kid to sleep, or half asleep and trying to do the stealth sneak out only to be thwarted by the damn squeaky floorboards.
    
2. People who beep their horn when my kid is sleeping in the pram. A**holes.
    
3. People who give you advice on how to get your fussy eater to eat, bad sleeper to sleep, tantrum maker to stop tantrum-ing. Literally none of the ‘helpful’ advice you’ve just given is helpful. None.
    
4. People who talk loudly on the street when I’m trying to get Austin to fall asleep. Seriously. How. Dare. You.
    
5. People who walk as a pack on the footpath and make no room to let you past. Like seriously, do you want me to move on to the road with the kid and the pram? Move the F over. It’s a two-way footpath people.
    
6. Restaurants and cafes that don’t take my order the second I sit down. Ok, I am on a timeframe people, and that kid sitting next to me is my alarm clock. I need a coffee stat. Let’s not mess around!
    
7. People without kids who talk about how much sleep they’ve had. Or how much sleep they haven’t had. Or pretty much anything to do with sleep. Zip it.

Whoa, I sound like an old cranky woman don’t I? I probably just walk around the streets scowling like a mad person so people talk loudly, beep their horns and don’t take my orders so that they can avoid me. Hmmm. I might just think on that awhile.

The do's and don'ts of Paris with a toddler

- Do book your eurostar train tickets to work around, or at least with, nap times.

- Don't do this just one way of the journey. Like we did. The train journey to paris was like a dream it went so perfectly. On the way back I think everyone in the whole train station knew us. You know the 'oh those people again' comments. Yep, that's our child crying at the top of the escalator for 30 minutes. With no shoes on. Pointing at something in the distance uncontrollably. I think he was crying for a reason at first (though we never did figure it out). But by the end I don't think even he knew why he was crying. It was FUN. At least all the staff took pity on us and let us go in the super fast lane to get through. Then again, maybe they were just trying to get rid of us. Don't blame them really.  

- Don't let your kid wake at 330am on your first full day there when you have heaps of activities planned. Actually, I don't really know how we could've stopped this but I do know it was a huge pain in the a**.

- Do stay near one main attraction. That way when you're tired AF (from your toddler waking at 330am) there is one place you can stroll to without any fuss. We stayed just across from the Louvre (A-MAZ-ING) and the huge Tulleries gardens were a massive WIN for the toddler.

- Do eat every pastry in sight. What? You'll probably need the energy to keep up with the toddler.

- Don't worry about the diet. The french paradox will mean you'll probably come home skinnier. Right?

- Do let your kid enjoy the beautiful park surrounding the Luxembourg Palace.

- Don't let him sit on the merry go round by himself. Or at least, be prepared to catch him should he fall (yes he fell, it was traumatic, but he was totally fine). 

- Do book somewhere half decent to stay. We all know you'll be spending way more time than intended indoors with the toddler. 

- But don't make the accommodation too amazing because Paris is so damn good you won't want any excuses to not get out and make the absolute most of it. 

Tour de paris

We’re slowly realising when you’re travelling with a toddler there is only so much you can squeeze into your day. Our ratio is generally half doing heaps of awesome cool things, the other half doing pretty much nothing while trying to keep the kid happy.

Visiting the Eiffel Tower was definitely in the awesome cool things list from this trip. Despite being Mr. cranky pants for most of the time Austin was totally up for the adventure. In fact catching him so early in the day was all sorts of good because he hadn’t woken up enough to do his usual running away from us trick. And he was all cute and cuddly, which is totally rare.  

We beat the crowds, we saw the sunrise over the Eiffel Tower (so beautiful) and then we had chocolate pastries for breakfast. Pretty damn good.

So in light of our morning going so swimmingly well for once, here are my 5 tips for tricking a toddler into touring:

1. Get out the door real quick in the morning so they’re unsure what’s going on.
2. For bonus points wake them up early, this will hopefully stop them from running away from you all morning. Like every other damn day. You might even get some extra cuddles while they're still waking up. 
3. Make it exciting. ie. use that “isn’t this exciting” voice for everything you do. “Look, we’re getting a taxi!” “Look, a patch of grass!” “Look, the Eiffel Tower!” If you do it enough the excitement will be catchy.
4. Buy nick-knacky toys from the street vendors. Kids always like nick-knacky toys.
5. Chocolate pastries for breakfast? Yeah, why not.

Life's a beach

Meg wears: H&M dress (similar here), zimmerman belt (similar here).
Austin wears: H&M swim shorts, Cotton-On polo, Cotton-on jumper (similar here), Native sandals.

When google says it will take 30 minutes to get to the destination and for some strange reason you believe it. Because you forget to take into account that your toddler will refuse to get in the pram. And then every five minutes you’ll need to stop because he wants a snack. And a drink. Then his hands cleaned. Then he’ll stop to look in every second window you pass. Then you will get to the station just as the train is coming. But miss it. Soooo our short 30 minute journey time didn’t quite work out how we thought it would.

BUT we did eventually make it to Beach Beast. Yay! The colour. The rides. The sand. The boardwalk. Oh GEEEZ. Sooo much fun for small people. Us big people didn’t mind it either. But you know, once you’re over 30 and sleep deprived and needing coffee bad you get a little jaded. If it wasn’t for Austin’s excitement (and the frappuccino’s all round) we probably would’ve wondered why we were there… but toddler excitement is damn infectious. So WEEEE we went on the rides, we ate the food and we dug in the sand.

We could’ve stuck around to sit in the Olympic Games zone, or check out the bar or splash in the paddle pool… but there’s only so much fun a toddler can take in one day. 

There's no place like the museum of home

Austin wears: Jacadi Paris polo (similar here), JoJo Maman Bebe shoes, cino shorts (similar here).
Meg wears: vintage dress (similar here), Free Fish shoes (similar here) and fedora hat from Camden Market. 

Why is everything about a hundred times more enjoyable when the weather is good? We are having so much luck with our touristy days lately and I'm pretty pretty sure most of it has to do with the blooming good weather. And hey I'm not gonna complain. Nope. I'm gonna lap it up!

Geffrye museum was a perfect example of the weather making our day out soooo nice. As soon as we got there we parked ourselves on their glorious front lawn for a bit of a picnic (if you can call Austin scoffing biscuits and then running around like a mad-man for the rest of the time a picnic). And just when we thought he would slow down (as if), he ran through the series of gardens in the back as well.

The museum itself shows how people have lived through the times 'museum of home'. Not all of it is suited to a toddler but there is enough to keep them interested (special kids sections on each plaque, fancy 'treasure chests' and other interesting artefacts). Then when you're been suitably 'cultured' there's also a coffee shop with cakes that look AMAZING, and a kids area too with tables for drawing and other activities. 

Austin was pretty stoked with his morning. And so were we because after all of his running Sir "i don't want to nap ever" fell straight off to sleep on the way home. 

The toddler's in charge

Walking the streets of Dalston. Meg wears: Au Lait tank, Minty Wendy necklace, Oliver Bonas hat (similar here). 
Austin wears: Tootsa tshirt, H&M Jeans, H&M shoes (similar here). 

It seems I don't need to run the house anymore. There's a new guy in town. He's tough. He's demanding. And not in the least bit reasonable. Yep, welcome to life with our two year old.

Don't nobody think he's getting in the pram. Coz he aint. And don't anybody even think about helping push the pram. Coz there is only one pram pusher in this house. The two year old. Yep, we make a trip around the corner look laughable, like some sort of snail paced marathon with a two-foot-tall angry turtle in charge. 

What was that? You wanted to leave the house to get to the kiddy class on time? Hahaha. The two year old laughs in the face of leaving the house on time. Coz he is craaazy like that. Just coz your'e the mum doesn't mean you make the rules. Oh no, because he will cry, and stamp and throw god damn biscuit bitties all over the house... until he is ready. So don't you even dare rush him. Coz the two year old will decide these things from now on. 

So you'd become quite comfortable with your two hour lunch-break (kiddy-nap-time) had you? What you use this time as some sort of secret mental nirvana to keep your sanity? Well the two year old says NO. And when he says NO you don't second guess that shit. So quit your whinging and get on with it. 

Oh man. There is gonna be some sort of epic game of thrones, survival of the fittest, battle to the ... ok not to the death, but battle extraordinaire this week. Mama bear is taking back the reigns. Hopefully. Or at least a little bit. Please? God damn. It's lucky he's the cutest little monster around. 

How to negotiate with a toddler in 7 easy steps

Austin wears Ducky Street tattoos, Mini Rodini t-shirt and H&M track pants (similar here)

1.     Try to reason with them. ‘We need the pram today because it’s a very long walk to get there, and we’re already running late so…please get in the pram. I really need you to get in the pram now. Get in the pram please. I said GET IN THE PRAMMMM'.  

2.     Bribery. Chocolate is a sure fire win. So is ice-cream. And sweets. And other yummy snacks. Though the sugar hit probably isn't going to win you any favours when it wears off in 20 minutes. Let’s just tackle one problem at a time shall we?

3.     Beg. This doesn’t really work but it somehow manages to find itself part of the negotiation cycle pretty damn often.

4.     Be passive aggressive. Yeah that is really going to work.    

5.     Get angry. Then instantly regret it.      

6.     Pretend to cry. This at least will get their attention even if it gets no other results.

7.     Give up.

Oh hold on wait, did I say seven easy steps? I meant seven steps I use, that drive me crazy! Ugh. Kids really have a knack for making grown-ups look completely mad don’t they? I usually find somewhere between six and seven Austin miraculously goes and does what I wanted, happy as larry, while I'm standing there a broken person.  #parentlife eh?

Woodberry Wetlands

Austin wears: Cotton-On polo (similar here), H&M jeans, Native shoes.
Meg wears: Karen Walker sunglasses, Karen Millen dress (similar here). 

We had such a great morning at the Woodberry Wetlands on the weekend. And we managed to do it without Austin having some sort of meltdown or me forgetting a critical element in Austin's backpack or all of us jumping on the wrong bus to god knows where. We had to get a break at some point right? Or maybe we’re just super-amazing-best-parents-in-the-world (hahaha. Ok, I’ll stop getting carried away now).

The wetlands were so perfect for our Saturday morning stroll on so many levels… 

1. Austin could run and run and run (woooo, you wear yourself out kid!).
2. There were no roads for him to run on to. Thank gawd. The kid has a knack for giving me heart attacks.
3. For a family which is used to city living you can get your dose of nature all in the one spot. Beautiful wildflower meadows, ducks on the wetlands, birds flying above. Sigh. It was pretty picturesque. <3
4. And probably the most important part I can get one of my all time fave London coffees while on the walk. Yess! Lizzy's delivering the goods as usual, let alone the absolute amazeballs menu.

So yeah, we had a pretty good morning. Boom. Not gonna hold my breath, but here’s hoping we can replicate this unicorn of a day out next week.